Bigot
by griffinatic
Summary: This is a little one-shot about Severus Snape and why he is the way he is.


A/N – Many thanks to my sister who wrote this piece for an ER fanfic of hers. She gave me permission to use it to write my own version of this magnificent one-piece. This little fic is about Snape and the reasons behind his actions and the mask he wears. Nothing of what I wrote is taken out of the books, it is just an opinion I raised. It is a bit of an AU and is just something I thought could be that reason behind his mask.

Severus Snape had just been found out as a spy and this is his reflection on his life as he lies in the hospital wing of Hogwarts.

Disclaimer - Not mine so please don't sue!

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People wonder why I act the way I do… Why do I love having people hate me, why do I love hating people? Well sorry to burst their bubbles but I don't hate anybody. After my years of spy work and as a member of the Order of the Phoenix, I have become hardened. I know that best friends can get killed in front of your eyes because somebody you thought were your friend turned on you. Bad guys can turn on bad guys and become good guys, and good guys can turn on good guys to become bad guys.

Yes I know that life isn't fair. That doesn't mean I hate anybody. Coming to work at Hogwarts everyday for the past couple of years has felt fulfilling. Sure I act like a 'greasy git' as my students put it and I'm certainly not a pleasant man, but I love just being there, knowing that all around me people are fulfilling their lives, living their dreams. I do not wish to take that from anybody, for it had been taken away from me and I know that it hurts. But I won't ever tell that to them, to my co-workers. I don't want them to know that I consider them my friends. Friends hurt each other, and those who don't, get killed.

Even though I may not tell them what I think, I do tell my family about them. No, I don't have living relatives worth knowing but I do have my own small family. My mentor and friend, my godson, and not many people would believe it but even Remus is part of my little family. The four of us stick it out. We push through the dark times and rely on each other's 'shoulders' to help bear the burden placed on our lives.

But I must admit that my burden is nothing compared to that of my godson. Not many people know of our relationship. After he had graduated from Hogwarts he had set out to delve into his family's history. To find out whom his grandparents were and if they were still alive.

What he had found those three years back had shocked everyone. I myself had withdrawn even more and even my Slytherins had opted to stay clear of me for a week. Yes, the day that Harry had found out about the memory charms placed on me, Remus and most of my colleagues had definitely been a turning point in our lives.

Lily had been right in obliviating us. The knowledge that I had actually befriended James Potter had been a shock to my system. But when I remembered that they had named me godfather second to Sirius Black, I had totally lost it. Then Harry had come. Harry had helped me through my memories.

Since that day I have seen the looks people throw at him. The first time somebody called him "traitor" I went berserk. I could have killed the guy and had it not been that both Albus and Remus were there with me I very well may have. I hated it, the fact that somebody who wasn't perfect could say that to Harry. Someone who didn't know him like I did. It had taken time but I had come to know the great young man he had become and I love him dearly.

As the time went on I realised that inequality would always be a part of my godson's life. He would be stared at, would be praised one day and ridiculed, and laughed at the next. People usually don't mean to be bigots it's just something that society in general teaches you. You favor those like you, whether it be race, sex, faith or in my godson's case; fête.

I realised long ago that the only way to harden myself against bigots would be to become one. I really don't hate anybody I just hate it when they hate somebody I love. Therefore I would rather have them hate me, let them keep away from me and by submission, away from my family, that way I keep them from being hurt.

Yes I don't hate people. I'm actually a lovable guy I just want people to stay away from me and my family. To keep them safe. Before Harry had come along my family had consisted of Albus and Remus. I had my bigot personality down to a pin even before Harry had come into the picture. I now only have one more family member. And I plan to do as I have done the past three years. Keep him safe. This week I almost couldn't do that, had it not been for Manirva and Poppy I wouldn't have been here to keep him safe anymore.

Isn't it funny how fate let that one happen. The two people I've distanced myself from the most, the two people I pushed away the furthest were the people who saved my life. I guess that they are really confused why I act the way I do. They must think that I'm the biggest hipcocritical bigot, if there is such a thing, in the world. But I must remind myself that they don't know about my relationship with Harry.

What they don't understand is that I pushed them furthest of all because I knew that they were the most likely people that I could be friends with. And I fear that with all my being, I don't want to be hurt, and I don't want my family to be hurt, but most of all I never want to see a friend hurt again. The easiest way for me to accomplish that would be to keep that person from being my friend. I've had a lot of experience with bigots in my life and therefore I could easily become one. Yes people don't choose to become bigots but I did, and I regret that decision everyday.

People think that I hate anybody that isn't like me, they couldn't be more wrong...

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So, what do you think?

Again I would like to thank my sister (snipsa) for letting me use her fic as a guideline for this one.

Read and Review!


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